dear diary...

Today was a day of full relaxation-no more being buried in my practical record books, waking up at the wee hours of the morning that still seemed like mid-night from the looks of it, with blood-shot eyes in a semi-conscious state,and having a hard time distinguishing between the dreams from the real stuff- because my final practical exams got over yesterday, which i feel obliged to declare, is a complete and utter relief!! that was a real pain in the neck...six consecutive days of exams, with barely any room for a breath of fresh, 'non-exam' air, trapped in the labs with all those funny smelling chemicals, smiling your best smile in front of the examiner to improve your chances of getting more than a big zero, struggling to finish an experiment within the limited amount of time while you're sweating bullets under that multi-stained piece of clothing which was probably once upon a time was a sparkly white lab-coat!!! oh, did i mention my exam was from 27th Feb to 4th march, and not even a break on Sunday!! talk about too much!

But now, those tight strings have loosened up, and my worn out muscles are relaxed enough for me to stand up straight again! yet, relieved as i may be at the moment, i still have a Herculean task ahead of me-jumping over the hurdles of my final exams, passing which i would be a full fledged graduate! me likes the sound of that. My whole darned future will be determined by my performance in this exam, so yeah, no tension there...as if i don't have enough to worry about already...like this really big zit on my face which i believe is growing bigger by the minute, or this boiling heat that's hot enough to make you understand what the fiery depths of hell would feel like!! but there is just no way to escape this net of destiny that's strung all around me, so i might as well get up, shake off the dust in my shoes, and embark on another obligatory marathon of studying!! yeah, good luck breaking this news-flash to my passive brain!! :))

nostalgia

Along comes a new month, and the only thing I can feel right now is a mild case of Panic. Panic- because we’ve already arrived at the third month of this new year (just where did the time go??), panic- because I have my final exams [the exam that’s gonna determine a very significant percentage of my future], and panic- mostly because the time in my hands is slipping away so fast, and I can’t really declare that I’d put my lost time to good use. It feels like only yesterday, but it has almost been three years, since I started college. It wouldn't be so wrong to say that my perspectives, my views on life and the world around me, back then and as of now, have changes considerably. The two graduation parties we had served as wake up calls that told me my college days were over. I think I am now starting to fully understand the confusions, and the conflicting thoughts and challenges that life tends to bring…and it sure does come in a heck of a package. I realize I have a whole lot of thinking to do about my life and where I want to be, like ten years from now! And believe me that’s a challenge, because I still have a mountain of a task ahead of me-preparing for my oncoming exams, of which I have had no initiative whatsoever!

My two best friends who’re in another city called me up a few days back, and we as usual, blabbered on about nothing for quite a while. And I am now still dealing with the nostalgic feeling that accompanies long talks with old friends. All I can think about now are my old days in high school, which, on my list of the “best days of my life” are right up there. We talked about little trivial stuff, mostly typical girl stuff, which made me realize that even though we have moulded our docile spirits to conform to our present situations and in our own ways coped with our present lives; we hadn’t changed one little bit! We’re all still the silly girls who giggle at everything, shout at each other at every little opportunity, and inevitably talk about our old days in high school…that never was and never will be an insignificant topic. We can never leave that out, because that’s where we found each other, brought together by some mysterious, yet wonderful twist of fate, to which I will be eternally grateful.

To be honest, I am consistently plagued by a melancholic feeling, as I come in terms with the fact of reality that the past will remain the past. No more going back to high school, living with our carefree, reckless teenage spirits, without a care in the world, when the future seemed a distant and far off entity. My hesitations of taking the steps into my future inevitably sends me back to those days of fun and frolicking, because now I am on my own, facing my future head on, tête-à-tête…with no turning back and no time to waste. I don’t think anyone can blame me for being so apprehensive (unless he/she is being hypocritical), and I hope it’s only natural…

All I have left now are the photographs and the vivid memories that still linger somewhere in the corners of my mind. I gather these fragments of memories, the remains of the blissful moments and put together the pieces of time, which otherwise would be gone forever with the past. I hold on to them the best way that my only limited human brain would allow, hoping that they will provide some sort of consolation, even in their smallest measure, to my lingering nostalgia.

the first step.....

well.....here goes nothing.....first of...i'm not really a 'great writer' material., and second, i have no experience whatsoever in this blogging thingy! it wasn't intentional...me entering this world of blogging...just by chance really....it was only after a friend of mine told me to check out his blog...and so i did. i got kinda interested and thought, hey, anyone can do this right?so why not i?? and the rest is history....
so, having presented my alibis...i think i now have enough excuses so that i can do this my way, in my own terms, just the way i like it!!!
peace!!!

Life

wrote this on one of my 'filled with confusion' days

So this is life, this road I’m on,
My past behind me, with time has gone,
Never did I imagine I would stand here,
Caught in the line between hope and fear.


The sands of time have slipped thru my fingers,
Yet, memories of gold never fail to linger
Who I was, who I am and who I will be...
Truly wish I had the power to see.


I face the world with all its demands,
Alone with my destiny in my hands,
Stranded, confused, with choices to make,
With the inevitable human nature of mistakes.


Yet I will forgive myself one day,
For I know I am strong enough to find my way,
And God will help me lift this burden I bear,
So, I’ll know why this life is fair…

something for a friend....

this is just something i wrote for a friend of mine...which i hope, served as a little confidence booster...



Life is strange, how its meant to be,
There's so much beyond what our eyes can see,
Just when we think we've reached our destination,
We're blown away in a different direction....
But don't forget that behind every dark cloud,
There are rays of hope to be found.

It takes courage to admit defeat,
And it takes strength to rise up on your feet;
That's how life goes, with all its imperfections,
Filled with its share of trials and tribulations;
And though on each life a little rain must fall,
I know you have enough faith to stand tall...

The new road might not be the same,
But don't let that stop you from playing the game.
Because i believe you have the passion to fight,
And a beautiful day dawns after each night,
And even though in God's plan we have no say,
He loves you enough to show you the way!

So hold on through the tears and pain,
And i do wish to see your smile again,
Keep on trying till you reach that finish line
And I'm sure you are gonna be just fine;
For I, your friend, will always be there for you,
And I'll pray for an angel to watch over you......